ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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