I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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