am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize