Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize