Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
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I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ladies don't puke and tell
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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