I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize