some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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