these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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