ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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