I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
