brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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