I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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