note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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