I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize