for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think my moral compass just broke
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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