did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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