I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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