We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize