We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
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Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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