I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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