guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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