remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My butt remains clenched, sir.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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