i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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