so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize