the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
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No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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