Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Who died my cat blue again?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize