It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
someone owes me an orgasm
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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