I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
PANTIES FOUND
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize