I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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