Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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