my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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