He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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