I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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