Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
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Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
it glows. i had to have it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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