I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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