If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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