Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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