im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
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I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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