"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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