I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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