there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's always time for handjobs
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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