..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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