I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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