I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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