i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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