I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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