i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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