none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
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Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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