if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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