i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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