He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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