How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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